BEI YA UNGA

 Hii Bei Ya Unga kupanda Nimeona Nitaumia vibaya sana Coz mm Hupenda kula sana😓 Nikaenda Soko Kwa grocery Nika buy Mahindi Kilo Hamsini✊ Nikapeleka Kisiagi 😎 Na nikapita kwa vichorochoro Ndio Nisionekane✌️Sisi maceleb Hatupendi Aibu💪 Kufika Kisiagi, Watu ni wengi Kama Msafara wa Wajakoya😂 Mtu wa Kisiagi Nikampea Thao Akanisho Change Nitachukua baadae, Nikaanza kuzunguka Mtaa ili Nikute Nimesagiwa, Kutembea Kidogo Nikakutana Na Crushie, Tukaanza Mastori. Huku nikimchapia mistari, Mrasta fulani Akapita Amebeba Unga Na Gunia Ikafanana Na ile yangu Niliacha Kwa Kisiagi😔 Sikumuuliza Ju Sikuwa Nataka Crushie Ajue Nilikuja Kisiagi😜✊ Bahati Mzuri Crushie Akanisho Anadai Kwenda, Ndio Nilirudi Mbio Kisiagi Nikakuta hadi kushafungwa, Nikafuata Yule Mrasta Mbio🏃‍♂️Kufika Kwao Nikakuta Ni baze ya mbogi genje 😂, Wakaanza Kuniuliza Nimekujia nn, Nikawasho Nataka maji ya kunywa😓 Wakanipa Ikabidi nirudi kwa plot, Huku nimeboeka Kama Wale wahenga Walikuwa wananusa Mavi ya kale Ndio Wajue kama yananuka😂 Kufika kwa Keja Landlord Akaanza kuniitisha Rental, Ju ya hasira na sikuwa na pesa Nikamtumia 20bob Alafu Nika reverse, Saii amenifungia Nyumba, Nangoja Kuwe usiku Nivunje Mlango nitoe vitu zangu Niende kwetu Ushago........

 AMERICAN POST vs KENYAN POST💔😂

 

Hey, am Terry brown i need your advice guys😌, i'm falling in love with my husband's cousin😴... 

COMMENTS

Arnold : it is just lust try to focus on your family... 

Pamela Lucky: I understand i was once there 😪

Lucy whithy: Think you should stop seeing the guy and ignore wat you are feeling😊 

Albert Mark : Pray hard for God to save your family and focus😊

KENYAN POST🌚

Hy, i need an advice I'm falling in love with my husband's cousin😌 

COMMENTS

Nakuru Niccur : We ni um*laya uko nayo🙄

Shelmith: Inbox for my naked pics, nikijifinger...

Bibiye: Sasa unataka tugonganishe matiti kwa ukuta ama🤷‍♂️

Ben Otieno: Baba the fifth😂

Kiuria maina: Usikae msoto kuna hii online business......   

Wanja mresh: Hii inasaidia aje unga kushuka bei🤷‍♂️

Makwapa Ya Nyoka: Mpee kitu, kwani ni kesho🤷‍♂️

Makende Ya Fisi: Pia hii mtasema ni mm tu🙄

*I am looking for someone to help me answer these

 *I am looking for someone to help me answer these

questions.*

1. Why Noah built the Ark in 40 days.

2. Why the rain/storm lasted for 40days.

3. Why the Israelites walked through the desert for

40 years.

4. Why the tower of barbel was built in 40 days.

5. Why Jesus Christ fasted for 40days.

6. Why Jesus Christ ascended to heaven after 40

days,

7. Why Moses had to spend 40 days with God, and

fasting before he got the 10 Commandments

Tablets

8. Why it took 40 days threat from Goliath against

the Army of Israel before he was killed by David

9. Why David later had a total reign of 40 years

over the nation of Israel

10. Why Elijah had to trekked, fasting for 40 days

running away from Jezebel

40 days and 40 years in the Bible is HIGHLY

SYMBOLIC

11. Why life begins at 40.

12. Why even Pass mark starts at 40.

13. Why they also say "A fool @ 40 is a fool

forever"

What's so special about 40, has it any spiritual meaning???

We might get an answer from a wise and spiritual researcher.

BREAKING NEWS

 BREAKING NEWS

Man sees his dead wife with another man in Bomet

A man from mulot by the  name of Wesley caused a lot of traffic today at Bomet 

Mr Wesley said he came into Bomet  yesterday and decided to move around to see how Bomet  looks like. He was walking around Kipchamba street when he stumbled up on his wife that died 3yrs ago in his home town.

According to him, " his wife died of asthma 3yrs ago and had since been buried, but he is surprised to see her with a man conveying her on a motorcycle. At first he hesitated, then he summoned courage and called her by name, she turned, look at him and disappeared".

The man who carried her on his bike fainted twice. After he was  resuscitated, he narrated his story saying he had lived with her for more than a year, he also said they met at a wedding reception and he later proposed to her and she accepted.

These are the kind of stories I write when I am hungry. 

This write up is out of anger because of inflation in Kenya.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥴🥴🥴🥴

 HOW TO KNOW A VIRGIN GIRL FROM A DISTANCE.

A Chinese scientist who is based in the UK has published his claims in London Times magazine and Voice of London magazine too that his six years research has finally come out with an impressive result which has made it possible to recognize a virgin without having sex with her.

According to his claims, he can recognise a virgin from two poles away and he has publicly revealed the tricks to this awesome discovery on a live TV broadcast.

Against popular beliefs, sagged breasts don't really imply a lost virginity and torn hymen does not also mean virginity is lost, he said. Pimples on the face is not an expressway of knowing a virgin.

The only way to know a virgin is this.

When a girl is coming from about 3 poles away, watch her direction of movement and tactically move to the left, which would by impulse make her move to the right. 

Quietly walk beside her, then pass and go on your way to the nearest  tea place to get yourself a coffee.

Her virginity is none of your business. 

I don't want this coldness catch you. 

GO GET YOURSELF SOMETHING HOT!

#like my profile picture 🥴🥴🥴

I can't wait to get married 😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😃😃😃😃

 I can't wait to get married 
😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😃😃😃😃

So that my wife will wear a sexy miniskirt on Saturday to seduce me 

😋😋😋😋😋😋😍😍😍😍😍😍

When she is washing my clothes she will be like, "honey, help me with hanger"

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

Then I will come out to give her the hanger and I will smile and say, "OMG! You look good."

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

After that, her and I will enter into the kitchen and she will start frying plantains

😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

When she is frying the plantain, then I will hold her from back...

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

And she will be like, "Oooh Baby, wait let me finish frying this plantain. 

💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞

And she will be like, "are you not ungry?"

I will smile 😊😊and look into her eyes and say, "Baby you're more important than this food."

😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

And I will be like, "thank you God for giving me a wonderful woman like you."

😊😊😊😊

After that, I will carry her and we enter bedroom. 

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

And..... And........ And..... 

😋😋😋😋🙊🙊🙊🙊🙈🙈🙈🙈

The food will burn and our house catch fire. 

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 

Then we run out naked 

🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 

With our boxers in our hands

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Dem na chali chatting 😁😁😁

 DEM: Niaje beb

BOY: Poa Swiry, nambie

DEM: Aky I need a favour from u pliz

BOY: Which one hun?

DEM: Aki niko tao na nimeona troza kali inauzwa 2k, na imagin nilisahau doh home.

BOY: So nikusaidiaje mrembo?

DEM: Nilikua nataka unitumie izo doh nitakurefund nikifika home.

BOY: Fare ya kwenda home ni ngapi?

DEM: Ni mbao Swiry.

BOY: (Kidogokidogo , KL295T6MHEN Confirmed, You have received Ksh.60 from HILTON EDWARD , New Mpesa balance is 60.83.

DEM: Ghai! Hii ni ya nini?

BOY: Hio ni fare, toa 50bob, chukua mbao ukimbilie doh zenye ulisahau home, Mbao urudi tao ubuy troza, alafu hio kumi unaeza buy mtura ama miwa.

DEM: UMBWA HII, Usiwahi nitext...Mchawi wa south korea wewe.. Ooh My! Like seriously? LMAO!!!

BOY: Kwenda huko, Sura kama ya mugabe , Nyani wewe! Nilipe rent ama ninunue nguo! POTELEA MBALI! NUGU!

wanaume sikuizi hawataki upuzi ,no weapon formed against our wallet shall prosper!!Amen..

..volume iko sawa??🥴🥴🥴

MAN WIFE ENCOUNTER

 A man and his wife traveled to the zoo. They found a monkey that played passionately with his female. His wife told him: "what a romance."

Then they found a lion and his lioness separated from each other; the lion was silent and alone in his corner as if the lioness did not exist.  His wife told him: "what a sad scene without love." 

Her husband then told her: "throw that stone at the lioness and watch." When she threw it down, the lion leaped roaring to defend his lioness. They saw the monkeys again and she did the same by throwing a stone; the monkey then jumped and abandoned his female to save his hide. 

Her husband tells her later: "do not be fooled by what you see as romanticism in some, many times it is a deceptive appearance that hides an empty heart; there are others on the contrary who do not show anything, but their hearts are full of sincere love ". Unfortunately today we have so many monkeys and so few lions...!!."

aiwitugesa🥴🥴🥴

VIRGINITY🤫🤫

 Virginity🍑💦is like a balloon🎈 once pricked💉🎈 it's all gone forever🎃. $èx🍑🍆 is like a pack of chips🍟 once you start eating you can't🖐stop. Exam paper📝 is like a Dííck🍆 once it gets hard you're Fücked 😓. Education🎓📖📚 is like a prostítuté 👯🏾‍♀️️👙 it needs both✌ your money💰💳💸 and hard work👷🏾‍♂️. Success🚗🏡💰🎓 is like màstürbàtíôn✊🏾🍆💦 only your own hands can let you archive it. So basically life is pornograpy

Mrimi victor🚶🚶🚶🥴🥴

Girls name reflection 🥺🖐️

 Kama uoni jina lako ama la bae uliza

1. Esther---mchafu 🤧

2. Grace---mshene 🤖

3. Vivian---kujichocha 🤓

4. Lilian----mang'aa 😇

5. Sheila and Harriet---mkarimu🤕

6. Judy---kiherehere 😝

7. Nancy---tangatanga🙈

8. Florence and elvine----silent killer 🙀

9. Ednah---wivu 🥑

10. Elizabeth---double dealing 🤓

11. Irene---tamaa 🧗

12. Faith---wanaume Kwa nyumba Yako 🙄

13. Jane---c warembo completely 😱

14. Jacky---mstingy 💪

15. Caro---pretender 😘

16. Vane---kuangusha ovyo ovyo 🤔

17. Maureen---kuzaa bila mpango 😩😞

18. Yvonne---kutamani za watu 🥴

19. Brendah----hasira Kali 🙄

20. Blessings na betty---maringo na huvaliwa slippers za manyoya 😝

21. Lydiah--kuenda date na mtoi wa mwezi 🤓😝

22. Ann---warembo but cheap 💔💔

23. Aggy---desperate Kwa wanaume 🙀

24. Diana na joy----mvumilivu Kwa ndoa 🤥

25. Rachael----smile Kwa wanaume ovyo ovyo 🤔🙄

26. Mercy---talkative and pretender 🤕

27. Mary---date ovyo ovyo na Ako na mzee 🙈

28. Veronica---mtaka za Bure 🤫

29. Ruth---c warembo but roho safi 🤝

30. Beatrice and Rebecca---mrembo mcool🌹🌹😊

Na sjasema munipige mawe🙄🙄🥴🥴

How to make a man happy

 HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Let him have his space

2. Sleep with him (if he is your husband oh)

3. Be his best friend

4. Don't bother him about the moves he makes (but always commit his moves into GOD'S HANDS)

5. LOVE him truly

 HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's really not difficult ... To make a

woman happy, a man only needs

to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a plumber

10. a mechanic

11. a carpenter

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm 

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments

regularly

45. go shopping with her

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. don't stress her out

49. don't look at other girls or ladies

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU

MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention

51. give her lots of time

especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes (just be PRAYING for her always).

53. LOVE her truly ❤

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY

IMPORTANT TO 

54. never forget

🟡 Birthdays

🟡 Anniversaries

🟡 Arrangements she makes

😃😃 Should I Continue... 😁?

🙆😂😂

Please trust me 🤞🏻 she will be Yours forever 💟🌺❣️🌈💝

Yours forever

 🗣️ When she's mad 😠 and shouting at you 😡with tears 😭 in her eyes 👀 it really hurts her 🙇🏻‍♀️deep down bro 😰💔😭 just get closer to her 👩‍❤️‍👨.. Hold her hand 👫.. don't explain 🙅🏻‍♂️ don't talk ✋🏻you'll make her more 💯furious 🥺 Just hold her 👫 hug her 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨.. Let her smell 😤 your perfume 🔮🌹 for more than 🔟 minutes 😰💔😭 Kiss 😘 her💋 on her neck 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 let her hear your heartbeat 💓look straight intoher eyes 👀😍😭. Then wipe away🤧those tears 😭 on her eyes😭💦 with your fifth finger🤙🏻 and say 🥰 "babe 💕 i'm sorry 🙏🏻 i never meant to break your heart 💘" 😰💔😭 The moment she opens her mouth 👄 tries to Reply shut😝 her up with a deep 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 yummy Kiss 😘💋 Then whisper in her ears 👂🏻 " 💞 I 💗 LOVE 💖 YOU 💕" 😰💔😭

Please trust me 🤞🏻 she will be Yours forever 💟🌺❣️🌈💝

👩🏻 Ladies 👱🏻‍♀️ Love that ❤️🖤🧡💜💛💙💚

.

🗣️ Ladies 👩🏻👱🏻‍♀️ I wants to know 🤔 If the volume 🎛️ is high 🎚️enough 🤷🏻‍♂️

❤️😍

A SHORT STORY, BUT FULL OF LESSONS. *THE TIED DONKEY*

 A SHORT STORY, BUT FULL OF LESSONS.
*THE TIED DONKEY*

A Donkey was tied to a tree. Then, the Devil came and untied it.

The Donkey went to the nearby maize farm and started eating everything.

The Wife to the Owner of the maize farm saw him and was worried the crop will be destroyed. She got her Hubby's rifle and killed the Donkey.

The Owner of the Donkey just saw his dead Donkey and was mad and got out his own rifle and killed the Woman.

The Husband to the Woman came home and found his Wife dead and was told she was killed by the Neighbour.

He got his rifle in anger and without asking, killed the Donkey's owner.

Children to the Donkey's owner came and were enraged on hearing their Dad was killed by their Neighbour because of a mere maize field.

Without asking and without getting real facts, they went and burnt the entire maize field.

The Farmer was even more upset and shot all the three sons.

Now an Angel asked the Devil, *"what have you done?"*

The Devil answered saying, *I did nothing wrong but released a poor donkey that was tied"*.

Do you get that??

The Devil is not as powerful as you think . He rather works in all sorts of innocent ways to incite people to do evil things over little things.

In this Election period, take care before you act and think twice before you take revenge and watch out for the donkey that may have been released, especially in this yuletide season.

Let's begin to watch out for the tied donkeys in our lives and also learn to control our anger.

PEACE!

PEACE!

AND PEACE STARTS WITH YOU 🇰🇪 🤝.

UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED, YOU ARE SINGLE ☺️ SINGLE IS SINGLE

 UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED, YOU ARE SINGLE ☺️
SINGLE IS SINGLE

1.We just got engaged ☺️🙄(Single)

2.I live with my boyfriend 🙄😂(Still Single)

3.We have been together for 5 years 😢😕(Super Single)

4.He has credit in my name 😂🙄☺️(Very stup!d Single)

5.I call his mother and she calls me also 😂😂(Desperate Single)

6.I stay at his place 😢😂(Nonsense Single)

7.He posts my pictures on social media and use my pictures as his dp 😆😅(first class idiotic single)

8.He comes to my house everyday 😱(End of discussion single)

9.We have done introduction and my boyfriend travelled abroad 😅😆😢(living in bondage single)

10. All his family know I am his future wife 😂😂(you can never get sense in life single)

11.He has brought groceries to my family since last year (very much single)

12. All his friends call me "Our wife" (Aunty you're extremely single

 😇😇😇THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW YOU ARE💁🙋💔
OLD..!!!💔💔💔🧍

1. Kama unajua ulifanya Science ikiwa na Agriculture, na GHCRE... Wewe ni

mhenga.🙄🤦🤦

2. Kama ulicheki tv ukajua Inspekta Mwala ako na brother😜😜 anaitwa Likobe... Tafadhali usiulize nywele nyeupe inatoka wapi? 😏

3. Kama ulitumia 5bob, 10bob na 20bob ya noti😏💔💔 Anza kuandika will

mapema mapema. 😜

4. Kama ulipanda matatu zile👉👉watu huangaliana....Nani, kubali tu.🙈

5. Kama uliwatch tv channel inaitwa STV na👄👄😭bado unaandika X badala ya

S... Mboss maombi kwako!😶

6. Kama picha yako ya ID si coloured... We ni analogue. Na kama ID yako haiingi kwa wallet...Pea wengine nafasi wazaliwe bwana! 😏

7. Kama ulikunywa soda inaitwa Softa na Babito, na juice ya Tree Top...Uko

pale pale. 😜

8. Kama Primo ulifanya 8 subjects, deactivate your facebook account uanzishe familia.👨‍👩‍👧‍👧

9. Kama uliona kipindi ya Tausi🤪🤪Maria de Losangeles, na movie ya mbwa🤣🤣

ingine hapo inaitwa Rex....Shikamoo babu/ nyanya.🙉

10. Kama ushawahi pelekwa💞🤪👄date kwa hoteli mkasomea menu nje🙆💁👉Wewe na akina Ole Kaparo🙅🙅 na Ole Ntimama ni agemates.🙈

11. Kama unatambua zile era za kupigwa picha then unaingoja for🤳🤳

a whole month ndio itoke🧑‍🦯Mzeiya🧑‍🦯🧘 umekula chumvi, masala, chili etc.😝

12. Kama ulinunua tule tu biscuits twa round😢🥲😛 twa kuuzwa 50cent... Wewe uliona Noah akitengeneza Ark🤣🤣😭💔

13.kama umemaliza kusoma like na......

Husband wife quarrel

 My wife and I were having a serious quarrel when

I said to her..."pack your things

and.......!!! ....."At that point, her phone rang, so I

had to stop to allow her answer the caller.

It was her dad. The phone was on speaker so I

could hear what he was saying. After the usual

pleasantries between father and daughter, he

said:"my daughter, I have transferred #6,000,000

into your account, give your husband N4,000,000

out of it, and you can have the remaining

balance." Am sending a LANDCRUISER tear

rubber jeep to you and your husband for family

use. After the good-byes, the call ended, and she

turned to me immediately "you said I should pack

my things and do what........ ?" I SAID, PACK

YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO ME TO

WASH". I will iron them when light comes. 🙆‍♂️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hey dear 😍😘

I always make you laugh and be happy Appreciate me by liking my dp only

TYPES OF BOYS "NAMES"

 Kama uoni jina lako ama la bae uliza
😹😹😹😹

1. Clinton---mchafu na n wezi

2. Ivan---mshene na wakora

3. Vinny---kujichocha

4. James----mang'aa

5. peter---mkarimu

6. Thomas---kiherehere na brownskin

7. Edwin---tangatanga 

8. Frank----silent killer

9. Jonte---wivu

10. Brayo---double dealing

11. kevo---tamaa

12. patho---wapate na mabibi zavwatu

13. Dancan---sura mbaya na bang

14. Jackson---mstingy

15. Livingston---pretender

16. Zacky--- wafupi na wanono

17. Ian---vitombi

18. Jose---kutamani za watu

19. Bonny----hasira Kali

20.Felix---maringo na wacute

21. Samuel--wanapenda pombe

22. Justo---wacute but walevi

23. Isaac---wezi

24. Simon----waminifu Kwa ndoa

25. Victor----smile Kwa wanawake ovyo ovyo

26.Paul---talkative and pretender

27. Ben---date ovyo ovyo na Ako na wamama

28. Caleb---mtaka za Bure

29. lyncon---c wacute but roho safi

30. jeff---roho mbaya na n walevi

31.Dommy--- gay na wamebeba matako

SIPENDI UJINGA

 "SIPENDI
UJINGA MIMI"

1.Jana, nilikutana na boy fulani

akaniuliza

mbona nimekunja uso. ,nikamjibu,

nataka

kuiweka kwa Bag. Sababu mi sipendi

ujinga.

2.Juzi neighbor yangu alikuja

akaniambia

nipunguze sauti ya radio anataka

kulala.Jana

akipika chapoo na mimi nkamwambia

apunguze

harufu ya chapati nataka kula ugali.

Saa hii tuko

kwa landlord tunaongea hio maneno. Ju

sipendi

ujinga

3.Ushawahi katia mrembo sana mpaka

anakushow uende kwao akuna mtu

kufika

unapata pia yeye hayuko......KUMBE

HUYO

MREMBO HAPENDI UJINGA

4.Sasa polisi anatusimamisha eti juu

number

plate ya nyuma na ya mbele haifanani,

alafu

beshteangu anamuuliza kama uso yake

na

matako inafanana.......mi imebidi

nicheke sai

tuko central ndo napatiana simu, so

nitakua

mteja kiasi .Hata polisi kumbe

hawatakangi

ujinga.

5.Ex wangu amenicall kuitisha

earphones

zake..nmempelekea earphones nkachukua

simu

yangu..nmemwacha akiziconnect kwa

radio. Hata

mimi nmerealise sipendangi ujinga.

6.Nimeenda hosi kupimwa

ugonjwa,results kukam

doc ananisho ati choo yangu ni

mbaya....sai

najenga ingine, sipendingi ujinga mimi

7.Nlitoka rave 3am juzi.Kufika Moi

avenue taxi

ya home inalipisha 1500 na basi ya

kwenda

mombasa inalipisha 700,Nlienda

Mombasa na

700 nkarudi na 700 na nkabaki na

mia.sitakangi

ujinga mimi.

8.Mlevi anapanda gari alafu conda

anamuuliza"na

hii ulevi yako utaenda mbinguni

kweli"mlevi

akamjibu"kama mnaenda mbinguni

simamisha

gari nishuke Mimi naenda tu apa

ngara.......…..

.......PIA MLEVI HAPENDI UJINGA

9.Mtoi wa neighbour amenizoea sana.

nikimtuma kitu kwa duka anakula tu.

juzi

nilimtuma mkate akaila, jana nikamtuma

blue

band akala. leo nimetuma super glue,

saa hii

haongei.ujinga sipendi!..

Prank 😂😂🤭

 Nimeenda kuchota maji, kufika kwa tap nikapata wamama wawili na mitungi tano tano ikabidi nichoree,alafu nikawashow kuna ng'ombe imegongwa na gari na watu wanagawana, wakatoka mbio🏃🏃🏃 but sijachota maji nimewafuata coz ile mbio wametoka nimeona nikama ni ukweli😂😁🤣🤣😂😹😹😹🏃🏃🏃🏃🤸🤸

American vs Kenyan schools

 American Schools: Define Philosophy (30marks)

European Schools: What Is Philosophy (30marks)

Kenyan Schools: With Relevant Examples, Compare And Contrast, Otherwise Escalate The Assumption That Philosophy May Be Diametrically Considered As A Social Science (5marks)

😆😆😅😅

Sai tuko plan b na shida haikua yetu😥😢😤😭

😂😂 sleepover with synthia

 🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️ 🤣🤣🤣🤣 

Dem yangu synthia jana alikam sleepover 😋😋😘😘 waaah 🙆‍♂️ 🙆‍♂️ sema kubambika 😋😋 sasa dem akasema nimpee dooh aende anunue supper 👌 👍 😍  na saa hizo boychild akona mia tano plan ya wiki mzima 😔😔🤔🤔 dem naye anataka kunua nyama 1kg 🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️  si nikampea iyo 500 bt kishingo upande 😬😬😬 wakati ametoka ati anaenda kwa butcher 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ nikachange mavazi teketeke na mask , then nimfuata mbio 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ before afike butcher 😡😡 nikampiga ngeta na nikachukua iyo mia tano yangu then nikarudi kwa keja  mbio🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ nikachange kama kawaida 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤩🥰😘😁 kidogo ivi, ndo uyo dem anaingia akihema ati "uuui beb imagine nimeibiwa dooh ya sapa 🙆‍♂️🙆‍♂️ nikamwambia " beb usijali huku ni kubaya . nikampea 50 bob ingine ilikwa apo juu ya meza aende abuy skuma ya fiftin na nyanya 🤣🤣🤣 shenzi sana

Mimi hapana tambua!! High school life

 𝘐𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 😩 𝘬𝘸𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘶 𝘺𝘢 𝘬𝘶𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘰 😎.𝘔𝘺 𝘋𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘸𝘢 𝘸𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦💔, 𝘬𝘢𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘸𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘫𝘶𝘪 𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘬𝘶𝘸𝘢𝘫𝘦🤔. 𝘕𝘪𝘭𝘪e𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘬𝘸𝘢 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬. 𝘚𝘪𝘬𝘶 𝘺𝘢 𝘬𝘶𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘪 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘰𝘫𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘰𝘬𝘰 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘬𝘰𝘮𝘣𝘰𝘢 𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢😋. 𝘛𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘻𝘶𝘶𝘳𝘪. 𝘛𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘧𝘪𝘬𝘢,𝘮𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘺𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘺𝘦𝘺𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘻𝘢,𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘸𝘢 𝘻𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘬𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶 30 𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦..𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘸𝘢🤗...

𝘴𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 🏍 𝘨𝘶𝘺🤓,𝘵𝘶𝘬𝘢𝘢𝘯𝘻𝘢 𝘬𝘦𝘴𝘪,𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘬𝘦𝘴𝘪 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘢,"𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘰𝘺?🤔!"...𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘸𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 😢.𝘔𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢 𝘗𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘭🤗. 𝘕𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦,𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘶!!.𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘢 𝘬𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘪. 𝘏𝘶𝘺𝘰 𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘢 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘬𝘢 𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘸𝘦𝘬𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢 𝘬𝘰𝘧𝘪 😬!! 𝘗𝘢𝘩!!𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘰𝘯𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘻a🌃 ....." 𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘴💵 𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘢 𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘦 𝘫𝘪𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘫𝘢𝘯𝘢!".

𝘏𝘢𝘥𝘪 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪 𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸,"𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺😄😄 🏃 🏃 🏃 🏃

FACTS ABOUT SHY PEOPLE

 Facts about shy people

1. They can talk and chat openly even crack jokes with you on social media but In real life they are ice

2. They fit pass you on the road simply because of their shyness. They can stay indoors for weeks without minding

3. Very calculative,clingy, little touch of hot temper, romantic with one they love.They hardly fall in love but once they fall,it's over they don't joke with that person

4.They hardly cheat. Before you see them, so sensitive. They can read people's mind before you could say it,they rarely have friends and associate in any activities, always not comfortable staying in a place full of people,always staying alone

5. They hardly talk in the midst of people but talkative when they are with their lovely ones. People usually see them as too proud people but they are not

6. They can endure alot but don't push them or take them for Granted because once they decide ,you have lost them for good

7. They are too emotional. They don't easily forget bad things someone did to them

8.They hardly share their problems to anybody or ask people for assistance no Matter what they are passing through

9 They are unpredictable stubborn!!

You won't easily observe the kind of person until you get closer to them

Where is the lie😂🥴🥴

A form 3 student proposes to a teacher

 A form 3 student aliamua kupropose kwa mwalimu wake wa English😊,,alikua mrembo😍😋...during class assignment aliandika love letter,,akaiweka kwa kitabu yake ya assignment... Alikua ameambia marafiki zake iyo story, so kila mtu aliingoja kuona reaction ya mwalimu wao,,,akiwa home anamark vitabu akaona ile letter...kesho yake alipeana zile vitabu bt hakureply ile barua😊😋..akamwambia amfuate kwenda staffroom🙆😳..marafiki zake wakamshw ile vita atagongwa na waalimu n mungu tu🙆..kitu ya kushangaza ni kuwa wakati alifika staffroom yule mwalimu .......🙈🙈🙈

Bundle zangu zimeisha...🙄🙄

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

 HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Let him have his space

2. Sleep with him (if he is your husband oh)

3. Be his best friend

4. Don't bother him about the moves he makes (but always commit his moves into GOD'S HANDS)

5. LOVE him truly

 HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY

It's really not difficult ... To make a

woman happy, a man only needs

to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a plumber

10. a mechanic

11. a carpenter

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm 

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments

regularly

45. go shopping with her

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. don't stress her out

49. don't look at other girls or ladies

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU

MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention

51. give her lots of time

especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes (just be PRAYING for her always).

53. LOVE her truly ❤

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY

IMPORTANT TO 

54. never forget

🟡 Birthdays

🟡 Anniversaries

🟡 Arrangements she makes

😃😃 Should I Continue... 😁?

🙆😂😂

 KNEC EXAM
OF ADULTERY

FINAL YEAR EXAMS

COURSE: MARRIAGEMATICS

Time: 3Hrs 30MINS

INSTRUCTIONS

1 ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS

2 ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS

1. You are a married man and you have dated somebody's wife for two years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow.  eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. (20 marks)

2. You bought a phone for your friend's wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. (20 marks)

3. For Men You're dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone X 

(a) Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. (15marks)

(b) Use your graph to estimate your future poverty (5marks)

(c) Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members.  (5 Mks)

4. You are whatsapping and facebooking other people's wives yet you don't want to see your wife on the social network. Calculate the Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. (20 marks)

5. You are a civil servant, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than 1,000,000. Your daughter who is awaiting KCSE result is using iPhone 12 and Samsung Galaxy worth 700,000 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. (20 marks)

6. For ladies You're a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing Return to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. (20 marks)

7. You can't give your wife 1,000 for a pot of soup, but you spend over 5,000 in club and restaurant.   

Calculate the radius of your 'stupidity', take π=3.142 (20 marks)

   GOOD LUCK!

                                  2hr/30min (time)

Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share to all your friends because the question papers are not many to go round🥴🥴🥴🥴

WHICH OF THESE IS THE MOST PAINFUL

 Which one is the most painful🙅💀?

1. Studying for 7 years in a University, then stay home for 10 years unemployed!🙅

2. Raise a child for 20 years, then find out he/she is not yours!😖😪

3. Work hard for the whole month, then go to the ATM and get robbed!😏😂

4. Going to school for 11months, then get your report written failed...😒

5. Being faithful to the person you call your Soulmate, then in return, you get AIDS!😪

6. Study for the whole night for a test, then fail the test.🙆

7. Being in a very good relationship with someone and then end up marrying someone else😩.

8. You're downloading a video of 5gb and when it reaches 98% your phone dies!

🤣🤣🤣

TEMBEZA KUBWA KUBWA

 Jana Jioni Nikitoka kuhustle Nlipanda matatu 🚌 Nikirudi home na venye Nilikuwa Nimechoka 😴😴 Usingizi ikanichukua 😴 Nililala all the way Hadi Nikashtuliwa Kutoka Kwa Usingizi 😲 Kumbe ni Conductor alikuwa anaitisha Fare 😔😔 Hapo ndipo Nikagundua sina Wallet Yangu 😥😭 Na Nakumbuka Vizuuuri nikiingia ndani ya Matatu Nlikuwa nayo 🙄🙄 hapo ndio Nilikasirika 😐 Nikasimama nikatangaza Hali ya Hatari ☠️☠️😾 Nikasema kama ni wewe umechukua Wallet Yangu Tafadhali Nirudishie ama Nirudie Kufanya kitu Nilifanya 1997 😡😾 Kwa mara ya Kwanza 1 ,Mara ya pili2 maraaa yaaaaaaa......Hapo ndio jamaa mmoja akajitokeza haraka akanirudishia 🙁🙁 na Akaniomba msamaha 🙏🙏 After kulipa Fare na kutulia ndio mama flani hapo nyuma Akaniuliza "KWANI ULIFANYA NINI 1997 🙄🙄👈 "" Ndio Nikamjibu ☹️ """ SI NILIKANYAGA MGUU HADI NYUMBANI 🚶🚶🚶👈

LOVE THOUGHTS

Love

 7:35Am Thoughts...

As a lady I'll tell you the truth. We men we DON'T treat every lady equally. There are ladies we can give 2K urgently .

 There are ladies  we request an Uber for & then there are ladies  that must take a "mtu wa Pikipiki" for . Every man has different attitudes based on the kind of lady  he is dealing with at the moment. 

There are ladies  you take to KFC ,ladies you take to a  nice clean place & ladies  you stand with in the streets.

 There are ladies we give our 100% attention.

 Ladies that we fall asleep chatting to ,  ladies we don't mind going to the Mall with & then there are ladies  we never do anything for just sex only. 

A lady that will never even get 100bob from us , even if she's your  Baby Mama. As Men  we don't treat ladies  the same.

 A guy can be demon to you but soft to another lady. There are ladies we don't even walk with in public ,we don't. Ladies  we pick up at 10pm & take them out before the Sun comes up. 

EVERY man is like this. If you don't believe mee ask his Exes. You'll get so many different opinions  Many because a man is NEVER one thing. A Man has many styles & characters.

20 TYPES OF GIRLS YOU MUST USE CONDOM!!

 20 TYPES OF GIRLS YOU MUST USE A CONDOM ON

1. If she has a tattoo ..... use a condom🏃🏃😁😁

2. If she drinks beer ..... condom😁😁

3. If she turns off her phone when she's with you..... boi condom😁😁

4. If she's the first to take your shirt off.... Condom!😁😁

5. If she has short dyed or sprayed hair..... Condom!😁😁

6. If she doesn't ask for a condom ..... my brother condom!😁😁

7. if she wears tight jeans.... Condom😁😁

8. If she doesn't sigh when you touch her ..... Condom!😁😁

9. If she lives alone ..... condom please😁😁🚶

10. If she works in a hair salon, booth or bar..... condom😁😁🚶

11. If she is a student at... Condom oooh😁😁

L12. If she wears g-strings..... condom😳😁😁🏃

13. if she has stretch marks on her boobs... my brother condom🚶🏃🏃

14. If she wears Beads on the hip ... Condom😁😁

15. if she has a lot of male friends on Facebook ..... Guy, condom😁😁

16. If she supports an influential politician and wants to do politics..... please..... condom oh😁

17. If she has a ring on her nose and chain at the foot... Double the condom😁😁😁

18. If she likes to say that all men are the same, please put a condom😁

19 if her name is Natasha, Lucy, Maggie, Mutale,Ruth, Naomi,Agnes,brenda..….... nine condoms ba CEE 🥴

20. if she takes this post personally, triple the condoms my brother.😁

Husband Cheats With Maid

Cheaters

 A wife suspected that her husband is cheáting🍆🍑😖With their Maid

So she set a trap😑for the Husband✊🏻by sending the Maid to the village for the weekend without telling her husband 🧔🏽🤭.

At Night the husband told his usual story💁🏽‍♂️"darling i want to go and Watch Wréstling match in the sitting room🏠

Then he left the wife silently went🚶🏻‍♀️to the Maids room lying on the bed🍆🍑Náked with no light,he opened the door joined her on the bed🍆🍑😋

Without wasting time and without a word he had $ex with her🍆🍑😋

After the fifth round she said its Enough 😑🙄🤚

I caught you 😠 so this is how you used to have $ex with her🙄😑💔 

You will do 2 Roúnds and tell me you are tired😱.

You've done 5 roúnds now and still demanding more

The gateman replied "Sorry Madam😖😩

"I didn't know you are the one🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏼‍♀️

Wife fàinted🙄😁😱🥶🥵🤕😲

DEATH MOODS

 Death

😭One day There will be a tent ⛺ at home full of church members,😔💔 Pastor opening bibles📖💔, Opening Verses

💔😔😭The night will be long, People will be singing 😭🤞😔💔...The next day they will bring the coffin to the tent😔💔I will be inside, quiet and not feeling any pain 💔🙅My family and friends will be forced to see me for the last time 😔🤞⚰️

My sisters and brothers will be crying 😭My Mom will also be Crying 😭 Relatives will give them water to drink... Neighbours will be talking about how Sweet, kind, Caring and Respectful I was⚰️💔😔My friends will be talking about the things We did💔😔⚰️..The plans We Had😔💔

I will be taken to the Graveyard ⚰️😔..The pastor will read the Bible 😔📖 Again Then say"Ashes to Ashes,dust to dust"By that time they will be singing that "Thuso"Song...

Mmmmmmhmm..mhhhhmmmm.😔⚰️The coffin will be going down slowly ⚰️💔

Those I used to make jokes with will never hear my voice again 😔💔⚰️🤞

Will never laugh at my jokes again 😔💔 Those I used to text with will never receive my messages again 😭💔🙅 Those I used to Love will never feel my Love Again 😭🤞💔

My first heart break

 MY FIRST 💔💔

I still remember when I had my first heartbreak💔, it took me 2hours to finish a slice of bread😢.... After eating, I went to the kitchen to wash the cup and spent 3hours Washing one cup😢... I took my clothes which I had washed and started ironing😢, after ironing for about 4hours I then realized that I didn't plug in the socket of the iron..😭😭

My grandmother noticed that I was depressed then she asked "Victor" what's wrong?"😢. I replied "You're too young to understand grandma"😭💔 My Mother also asked " try to say something, you've been like this for three days now😳, What's Wrong”??🤨 I replied while tears coming down from my eyes "Just leave me alone, you girls are all the same" 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂

Am dated

 😂Am deathed😂😂

Teacher: What’s wrong🤐..??

Johnny : Our house is very small😓,

 Me, my mum and my dad, all sleep in the same bed😔. Every night my dad asks if I’m sleeping, I say No then he slaps my face & gives me a Black eye😫

Teacher: tonight wen your dad asks, keep dead quiet, don’t answer😌

*The following morning Johnny’s teacher sees him with a severe swelling on his face*.🙄😐

Teacher: My goodness why the swelling🤨..??

Johnny: Dad asked me again if I was sleeping I shut up and kept dead still😊. Then my dad & my mom started moving🤦‍♂️, You know, Mum was breathing heavy,😐 kicking her legs up and making moaning noises.🤷‍♂️ Then my dad asked my mum, “Are you cumin😌?“ Mum said, “Yes I’m cumin, are you cumin too😁?“ Dad answered: “Yes😚“. They don’t usually go anywhere without me 💁‍♂️So I said, "wait for me, I’m coming too!!😁😁😁

High school life 🤭🤭

 Kama ukiwa highschool hukuwahi fanya either of these huwezi sema ulimaliza io level😁😁:

1.Kureport late after opening.

2.Kuhepa some of the lessons.

3.Kuhaibishwa mbele ya assembly.

4.Kutofanya morning duties.

5.Kutoattend morning preps.

6.Kusneek.

7.Kukorofishana na mode.

8.Kupewa suspension.

9.Kuenda funkiee .

10.Kutumia mihadarati.

11.Kuattend church services na Kuswali .

12.Kupata C and below.

13.Kutumia mwakenya.

14.Malizieni....wenye tulipita hapo😁😁

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MAN SEE'S DEAD WIFE 🥺😴

 BREAKING NEWS

Man sees his dead wife with another man in Nairobi. A man from Nyeri by the  name of Njuguna Maina caused a lot of traffic today at Nairobi. 

Mr Maina said he came into Nairobi yesterday and decided to move around to see how Nairobi looks like. He was walking around Kimathi street when he stumbled up on his wife that died 3yrs ago in his home town.

According to him, " his wife died of asthma 3yrs ago and had since been buried, but he is surprised to see her with a man conveying her on a motorcycle. At first he hesitated, then he summoned courage and called her by name, she turned, look at him and disappeared."

The man who carried her on his bike fainted twice. After he was  resuscitated, he narrated his story saying he had lived with her for more than a year, he also said they met at a wedding reception and he later proposed to her and she accepted.

These are the kind of stories I write when I am hungry. This write up is out of hunger because of inflation in Kenya.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

SIPENDI UJINGA MIMI

 "SIPENDI

UJINGA MIMI"

1.Jana, nilikutana na boy fulani

akaniuliza

mbona nimekunja uso. ,nikamjibu,

nataka

kuiweka kwa Bag. Sababu mi sipendi

ujinga.

2.Juzi neighbor yangu alikuja

akaniambia

nipunguze sauti ya radio anataka

kulala.Jana

akipika chapoo na mimi nkamwambia

apunguze

harufu ya chapati nataka kula ugali.

Saa hii tuko

kwa landlord tunaongea hio maneno. Ju

sipendi

ujinga

3.Ushawahi katia mrembo sana mpaka

anakushow uende kwao akuna mtu

kufika

unapata pia yeye hayuko......KUMBE

HUYO

MREMBO HAPENDI UJINGA

4.Sasa polisi anatusimamisha eti juu

number

plate ya nyuma na ya mbele haifanani,

alafu

beshteangu anamuuliza kama uso yake

na

matako inafanana.......mi imebidi

nicheke sai

tuko central ndo napatiana simu, so

nitakua

mteja kiasi .Hata polisi kumbe

hawatakangi

ujinga.

5.Ex wangu amenicall kuitisha

earphones

zake..nmempelekea earphones nkachukua

simu

yangu..nmemwacha akiziconnect kwa

radio. Hata

mimi nmerealise sipendangi ujinga.

6.Nimeenda hosi kupimwa

ugonjwa,results kukam

doc ananisho ati choo yangu ni

mbaya....sai

najenga ingine, sipendingi ujinga mimi

7.Nlitoka rave 3am juzi.Kufika Moi

avenue taxi

ya home inalipisha 1500 na basi ya

kwenda

mombasa inalipisha 700,Nlienda

Mombasa na

700 nkarudi na 700 na nkabaki na

mia.sitakangi

ujinga mimi.

8.Mlevi anapanda gari alafu conda

anamuuliza"na

hii ulevi yako utaenda mbinguni

kweli"mlevi

akamjibu"kama mnaenda mbinguni

simamisha

gari nishuke Mimi naenda tu apa

ngara.......…..

.......PIA MLEVI HAPENDI UJINGA

9.Mtoi wa neighbour amenizoea sana.

nikimtuma kitu kwa duka anakula tu.

juzi

nilimtuma mkate akaila, jana nikamtuma

blue

band akala. leo nimetuma super glue,

saa hii

haongei.ujinga sipendi!..

Helb application

 HELB PREPARATION 

HELB application need the following documents

1.national ID

2. Active email

3. National ID of your parents+two other from a guarantee

4.bank account

5.kRA pin

Now let me talk about kRA pin.

You should apply kRA pin inorder to apply for helb.

As we are waiting for the helb portal to be opened, let apply for kra.

For you to apply for kra you need the following: 

1 national ID

2. Active email

3 date of birth as per ID

4. Phone number

5 postal address ( p.o.box...)

You can apply  in cyber which you will pay 200 or get help from someone who has the knowledge of how to apply it.